For 17 days I felt (pretty much) completely calm. During our time in the US I truly managed to vacate day to day life and all my typical worries and woes. And MY GOD did I need it. Yes there were a few minor wobbles, there always are at the moment, but for the most part I felt calm and free. We were on a true adventure, seeing a new and magical part of the world. And I got on the plane feeling inspired and rejuvenated for the future.
Last week pretty much sucked. Not only did it start with jet lag and two hours sleep (probably not the best beginning to any week if I’m honest) but then on Thursday it was the 8 month anniversary of loosing my mum. For some reason, this one hit me particularly hard and I was a wreck all day.
It felt like I had gone back to square one. All the progress I felt like I had made whilst away, was it really progress at all? It certainly didn’t feel like it.
By the weekend I was exhausted and more than ready to collapse in a heap and sleep, only to be frustrated when, upon waking at 11am, I was angry with myself that I had wasted half the day. And then I realised THAT’S OKAY.
Obviously I know part of this is holiday blues (plus jet lag) and that is totally normal and par for the course. And the stuff that isn’t – well that’s where you’ve got to find a way to work on it. The perfect time for some TLC.
So, last night, I popped to Sainsbury’s on the way home to pick up the ingredients for brownies and baked with my love. Well, he stired occasionally. And, once again, it was exactly what I needed. Yes, the brownies went wrong because I didn’t measure things properly (note to self: stop being a lazy cook) but they taste DELICIOUS.
A mess on the outside but still goodness to be found in the middle if you look past the dodgy edges. Rather like life at the moment. And that my friends is your Tuesday morning lesson from brownie baking.