Well hello there. In seems like an age since I’ve written in this little space of mine. Nearly three whole months, wow. A lot has changed in that time, so it seems only right for us to have a catch up. Pour yourself a cuppa and let’s get going!
So, the biggest life change lately has probably been our lovely little flat. We completed on our new home just before heading off to the States (I really must finish my photo share on that soon!) so had a lot to get going with when we returned home. Our renovations haven’t been without their hiccups – a leak, dodgy tradesmen and plenty of stress. But I can already say they have been 100% worth it to create this space that is just ours.
We were lucky in that we didn’t have to make a tremendous amount of changes. Admittedly, at the time it certainly felt like a lot (I mean, we’re still exhausted from it all..) and there were days when we just wanted to run away from it all. It felt like a constant battle against dust and space as we moved our stuff from room to room in an attempt to cope with the chaos. But it certainly could have been worse. We did some rewiring and changed all the light fixtures, added a fitted wardrobe, changed the kitchen and redecorated. I guess that does sound like a fair bit… but at least no walls were moved!
Now that the main bits are done, I’m more than ready to get going with the fun parts like cushions, hanging pictures and those all important little details. I’ll keep you posted!
There’s been a big shift in my life work wise, as I moved to go part-time and work from home. This wasn’t an easy decision to make but 100% has been the best one for my health.
Our trip Stateside really highlighted to me how hard I’d been finding life here in London. My stress and anxiety had gotten to an all time high, and each day was feeling like a struggle. I hadn’t really noticed how bad things were until going away and feeling so utterly content and relaxed, that returning home felt like a huge slap in the face. Things weren’t right and I had to take action. If the last year has taught me anything, it’s that life’s too short not to.
So, my weeks look a little different now and I’m good with that. I’ll be honest and say that things haven’t magically gotten better but they most certainly have improved. I know a big part of recovering from trauma (and I firmly believe that loosing a family member counts as trauma) is time. And that’s something I can’t control. The rest involves a lot of hard work, self patience, love and acceptance. I’m learning to tune in with my body more, listen to what I actually need to do versus what I think I should be doing, and to stop being quite so critical of myself.
Still, like anything, it’s a work in progress. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, and I sure as hell don’t want it to be. Instead I am working towards some sort of balance (aren’t we all?) where the good days are brighter, and the bad days not quite so dark.
Whilst the first counsellor who I saw last year wasn’t terribly helpful in a lot of things (side tip: you’ve got to find the right person for you, just like shoes you’ve gotta try them on first!) they did remind me of something incredibly important. Something that it’s all too easy to forget. Do the things you love. Simple right? Yet, when she asked me what I liked to do I was astounded that I couldn’t remember the last time I had done any of them.
Yoga classes, cooking a nourishing meal, baking on a rainy day, going for a walk with my camera, learning something new, planning a trip away, having a day of nothing where I don’t leave the sofa…. Things that are so simple, yet so easy to let slip out of your life.
I’ve slowly been making more of an effort to do the things that make me feel good. And it’s already been doing wonderful things.
This past Thursday I woke up feeling pretty rubbish. It seemed that the Great British Weather had kindly brought me a cold in July. And so, I hibernated. I downloaded a new book on my Kindle (about romance, food and coffee – all the good stuff). I took a yoga class and slowed down when I needed to. I watched a film in bed. And, by the time dinnertime rolled around, I felt well enough to meet friends for dinner. When I woke up on Friday morning, M said to me “you look rested”. And I realised, I was. I had listened to my body and given it some TLC*.
*But please don’t think that was the perfect day. I still wobbled and cried my eyes out that evening. Life is not always easy, and it most definitely isn’t perfect. Sometimes even the best of days have hard moments in them. And the worst of days have good.
And, that my friends, is a quick summary of the past few months. I promise not to leave it so long next time! What have you been up to?